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{{ノベル|題名=非自己叙述的|著者=[[利用者:芯|芯]]|説明=「非自己叙述的」という言葉から生まれる概念を、満遍なく説明した作。二部構成！|内容=
<big>'''第一節　「物語（一人の老人による語り）」'''</big> 
君「<big>'''非自己叙述的'''</big>（heterological）」という言葉を知っているか？　知らないとな？　仕方のないやつめ、教えてやろう。<br>非自己叙述的とは、「''ある言葉の意味がその言葉自体と矛盾していること''」だ。たとえば"long"という言葉は「長い」を意味するが、この言葉の綴りはわずか4文字と、'''長くない'''。<br>したがって"long"という言葉は'''非自己叙述的だ'''といえる。また"misspelled(綴りの誤った)"という言葉は正しく綴られている。つまりこの言葉も'''非自己叙述的'''だ。<br>
君この話は飽きたか。面白くないか。けども{{underline|文字列=しばし待て}}。ここからだ、面白くなるのは。さあ君、この問題について考えようじゃないか。<br><br>
<big>''　　　・「非自己叙述的」という言葉は非自己叙述的であるか？''</big><br><br>
これを解くにあたって、重要なことがある。「'''すべての言葉は非自己叙述的であるか非自己叙述的でないかのどちらかである。'''」ということだ。<br>おっと、当たり前だといって笑っちゃいけないぞ君。これはほんとうに大切なことだ。何せ……{{粛清されました}}<br>
本題に戻ろう。ではまず、「『非自己叙述的』は非自己叙述的である」と仮定して話を進めようか。「非自己叙述的」は非自己叙述的である。<br>すなわち「非自己叙述的」はその言葉自体と矛盾した意味を持っている。よって「非自己叙述的」は'''非自己叙述的でない'''。<br>
むむ？　いま、「非自己叙述的」は非自己叙述的だ、として話を進めたはずだ。しかしそこから、それを否定する結論が得られた。なぜだろうか？　うーん。<br>
あるいは、最初の仮定が間違っていた、と考える方が自然であろう。<br>今度は{{underline|文字列=他の可能性}}にかけるのだ――ところで先ほど、「'''すべての言葉は非自己叙述的であるか非自己叙述的でないかのどちらかである。'''」と述べた。<br>となると{{underline|文字列=他の可能性}}とは、「『非自己叙述的』は非自己叙述的でない」ということじゃあないか！<br>
では、そう仮定するとどうなるのだろうか？　「非自己叙述的」は非自己叙述的でない。つまり「非自己叙述的」はその言葉自体と矛盾した意味を持っていない。<br>ゆえに、「非自己叙述的」は'''非自己叙述的である'''。<br>
またもや仮定と矛盾する結論を導いてしまった。やあ君、どうしてこうなったのだ？　僕たちはすべての可能性を検討しきったのに、そのどれにおいても矛盾が生まれるだなんて……。<br>
はっ！　君君、これ、'''パラドックスじゃないか！'''



<br><big>'''第二節　「物語（二人の若者の会話）」'''</big> 
<br>[[非自己叙述的|続きを読む]]
}}

==すべての小説==
{{大喜利|場所=この記事|空白調整=　　　}}

{{ノベル|題名=敬語を知らない探偵|著者=[[利用者:キュアラプラプ|伊藤しえる]]|説明=敬語を知らない探偵が、夜行列車で起こった殺人事件の謎を解く短編ミステリー。|内容={{Sisters:WikiWikiオンラインノベル/敬語を知らない探偵}}}}
{{ノベル|題名=引っ込み思案の茶封筒|著者=[[利用者:芯|芯]]|説明=27年ぶりの世紀末、その雲はハンバーガーとともに輝きだした……。|内容=
<big>'''第一章　人の気も知らずに'''</big>
<br>「今すぐ生ハムでも降ってきそうな天気ね」
<br>　広瀬君はそう言うと、姿を消したのだった。コードレス化が進む昨今、ポケットティッシュを整理するのにもはや湖など必要ない。思わずうかうかしてしまいそうな話である。不意打ちに見つかったバターナイフでさえ急須でラベルを飲むのだから、まあ無理もない、といえば、当然嘘になる。
<br>　川西フットサル――Italian, 42, male, fat, blond――もその一人であった。彼女はまだ若く、一人で合格証書を受け取った。日本人の悪い癖といえばそうだ。誰もそんなものは計算しない。したがってこの日も、ベランダで弓道を侮辱する43分となった。西日本の読者諸賢はすでにお気づきのことと思うが、発電機とはあくまで鏡を売るということであり、そう簡単に通学していいものでは、決してない。
<br>　彼らはそんな神様に嫌気がさしていた。参考書のQWERTY配列、コンビニおにぎりの些細な下駄箱、あるいはカリギュラ効果の持つ、はらはらどきどきのショートケーキ、そしてそういった全てのものに、愛着が湧いていた。
<br>「全く、句点ほど厄介なものはないね」
<br>　誰かはそう言って、おもむろに肩を並べてみるのであった。

<br><big>'''第二章　謝りなさい'''</big>

<br> それでもなお、カレーだ。「あえて」なのか、「わざと」なのか。「シュン」はつまるところ、「ムォン」であるというのか。ルービックキューブと埃まみれになるのに、どれほどの思考実験を繰り返したのか。赤の広場にいるピアノ調律師の数は、印象派をあわせて何人いたのだろうか。宇宙の恒星の分布が一様で、恒星の大きさも場所によらないならば、空は常に光り輝いているはずではないのだろうか。アスタリスクの快進撃に、チャーチルは涙を流したのだろうか。Why did you want to climb Mount Everest? 定款書は地球儀を回すというのか。語彙力の足らない騒がしさは、スーパーマンのブーツであったのだろうか。信号機のクロップス・スクラッケスにとって、エッフェル塔を勉強するトンボは何を示すのだろうか。白い青空は54点ほどにマトートルケールなのだろうか。キミって明日予定ある？　今、何問目？

<br><big>'''第三章　まず第一に'''</big>
<br>　世の中たるもの、教室のクリケットを確実に狩っていくのでは、あまりにも根拠がない。まあ、信じるということだ。どこからが嫌われる水かだなんて、クラークが指を固めてからそれっきりである。おっと、難しく運転しすぎるのも褒められたものでない。何が言いたいのかと言うと、紅茶やマンホールは、すこぶる浅はかな駅階段がすずらすずらと舞い降りるのを見たいということだ。}}
{{ノベル|題名=人形浄瑠璃|著者=爺s（[[利用者:Yuito|Yuito]]&[[利用者:キュアラプラプ|キュアラプラプ]]）|説明="古き良き日本の文化"をテーマにした、大和魂溢れるジジイ共による人形浄瑠璃。|内容={{Sisters:WikiWikiオンラインノベル/人形浄瑠璃}}}} 
{{ノベル|題名=The Tragedy In The Plastic Bag|著者=[[利用者:山田貴志|山田貴志]]|説明=One day, a woman was killed in the ship. Can you solve this case? |内容=
'''1.Introduction'''

I am Tom. I work as Mr.Brunt’s assistant. He is a great detective. Mr.Brunt has solved many cases. One day, we were going to Ash Island to examine the murder case which happened there.
<br>I was in a cabin in the ship. A few hours ago, engine of the ship had broken down. Rescue will come tomorrow, so passengers were forced to spend the night in their cabins. There were seven people in this ship including captain. We had listened to captain’s explanations, and after that we had introduced ourselves. <br>Fortunately,everyone had their own spare clothes, cosmetics and so on.
<br>It was ten p.m. I had taken a shower and changed my clothes already. I laid on the bed and closed my eyes. But I couldn’t stop thinking about this situation. It’s a “closed circle”. I hoped to happen nothing tonight... <br>I fell asleep soon. But my wish didn’t come true.

'''2.Conversation'''

I was waked by alarm of my smartphone. It was seven a.m. I washed my face and changed my clothes. I left my cabin and went to the dining room. When I opened the door, there were two people. Mr.Brunt and captain.
<br>Mr.Brunt was so tall and had beautiful blue eyes. Contrary to him,I was short. Mr.Brunt was drinking a cup of coffee. I guessed he had already had his breakfast. Mr.Brunt said ,
<br>”Good morning.”
<br>Captain’s name was Benjamin. He was listening to the radio. He looked back at me and said ,
<br>“Good morning,boy.Would you like to eat a can of salmon?” 
<br>I said,
<br>“Please do not treat me as a child.I’m eighteen years old.” 
Actually,I was seventeen.
<br>“Oh I’m sorry.”
<br>Captain said and laughed.
<br>Then Johnson came in the room. Johnson was a doctor who was working in Ash Island.She talked about operations which she managed to do yesterday.
<br>“Good morning,everyone. Captain,when will the rescue come?” 
<br>Captain said,
<br>“I think the help will come until noon.” 
<br>“I see. By the way, where is Koo-ko?”
Mr.Brunt answered,
<br>“He hasn’t come here yet.”
<br>The door opened at that time. Koo-ko was standing there. Koitawa ———we call “Koo-ko” or “He”——— was a Japanese comedian. This is a stage name. According to Koo-ko,there are many comedians who have strange names in Japan. However,“Koitawa “was too difficult for us to say. He was traveling all over the world. I saw Koo-ko’s gag yesterday. To be honest, It was not so funny.
<br>“Good morning” Koo-ko said.
<br>“Talk of the devil...” Mr.Brunt murmured.
<br>“I couldn’t sleep well last night due to seasickness.”
<br>“Oh,that’s too bad. I’ll give you a medicine.” Johnson said.
<br>“Thank you,Ms.Johnson.”
<br>Then Ms.Hunt came in the dining room. Ms.Hunt was a tourist. She was going to spend her vacation in Ash Island. Ms.Hunt looked over fifty and too fat. Of course I never say.
<br>“Good morning, everyone. I am hungry. Captain,is there something to eat in this ship?”
<br>“Yeah,I have some canned foods. Everyone except Mr.Brunt hasn’t had breakfast yet,so I will wake up Ms.Emily and eat breakfast together.”
<br>“Yes,let’s.” Ms.Hunt agreed.
<br>“I’ll go her room and wake up her.” Captain said and left the dining room. 
<br>Ms.Emily was a singer. She was going to Ash Island to hold a show.
<br>But a few seconds later,we heard captain’s scream.
<br>We ran to Ms.Emily’s room. Captain was standing in front of the room. He said,
<br>“Look!”
<br>The door was opened. We could see inside of the cabin. I saw “it”.
<br>“Tom,come on.” Mr.Brunt told me and put on his gloves.
<br>“Yes,sir.” I said and took a pair of gloves from my pocket.
<br>We entered the cabin. Bathroom was on my left side. A shelf,a desk and a chair were on my right side. And Ms.Emily was lying in front of the bed. Mr.Brunt touched her throat and said,
<br>“She is dead.”
<br>I looked at Ms.Emily’s head. That was so strange. Her head was wrapped in a plastic bag.

'''3.Investigation'''

The transparent plastic bag was knotted around Ms.Emily’s neck tightly. Mr.Brunt took a pair of scissors from his pouch and cut the bag. Ms.Emily was opening her eyes. There was a deep wound on her forehead. <br>Ms.Emily was wearing a white one-piece. Some blood stains were on the chest of her one-piece. 
<br>I found a bloody radio on the floor.
<br>“Mr.Brunt,is it a deadly weapon?”
<br>“I think so too. Look at Ms.Emily’s suitcase.”
<br>A small suitcase was under the desk. It was full of many goods. But there was a space of a radio in it. Mr.Brunt investigated the suitcase. There was one clothing which Ms.Emily was wearing yesterday. Ms.Hunt said,
<br>“Ms.Emily said that she has only two clothes on this journey.” Ms.Hunt’s voice was shaking with fear.
<br>“I heard so too yesterday.” Johnson agreed.
<br>“When she got on this ship,she had only this suitcase.” I said.
<br>“I saw it too.” Mr.Brunt said. And he asked,
<br>“Whose is that plastic bag?” No one answered.
<br>“I think it is the murderer’s.” Mr.Brunt said. The plastic bag was printed nothing.
<br>Mr.Brunt stood up and said,
<br>“We did all we can do here. Let’s go back to dining room.”
<br>“Don’t you...don’t you put her on the bed?” Koo-ko watched Ms.Emily’s thin body and asked.
<br>“We shouldn’t move the things if we can.” Mr.Brunt told.
<br>“I see.” Koo-ko answered quietly.
<br>We left Ms.Emily’s room and went back to dining room without any words. Six people sat on the chairs.
<br>Mr.Brunt said,
<br>“What did you do last night,everyone? I was sleeping through the night and woke up at six.”
<br>“I went to bed at twelve and waked up at seven.” Captain answered.
<br>“I went to bed at eleven but I couldn’t sleep well last night. And came here at seven fifteen.” Koo-ko replied.
<br>“I fell asleep at ten and woke up at seven.” I answered.
<br>“I don’t know when I went to bed. I woke up at seven too.” Johnson said.
<br>“I read a book until midnight and fell asleep. I woke up at six thirty.” Ms.Hunt replied.
<br>“I guess Ms.Emily was killed at about two o’clock from her body. Is there a person who has an alibi for last night?” Mr.Brunt asked. No one answered. 
<br>“Alright. Next, please let me investigate your cabins.”
<br>Ms.Hunt and Koo-ko objected, but finally they agreed.
<br>We investigated all cabins, but we couldn’t find anything suspicious. Johnson had some goods for surgical operations, but it is natural. I saw a surgical knife for the first time.
<br>After that,we came back to dining room again.
<br>“Did you find the murderer?” I asked Mr.Brunt.
<br>“Not yet. But I will find soon. Please give me a bit of time.” He answered. 
<br>“I think the plastic bag is the key. If I can understand why it was used, I can find who is a criminal...” Mr.Brunt murmured.
<br>And five minutes passed. Suddenly,Mr.Brunt shouted.
<br>“Oh,Jesus! I understood!”
<br>Mr.Brunt smiled and said,
<br>“I found who killed Ms.Emily.”

'''4.Resolution'''

Everybody turned to him. 
<br>“Really? Please tell us!” I said. 
<br>“Alright. I will charge the person who killed Ms.Emily.” Mr.Brunt said aloud. And started the explanation.
<br>“The key of this case is the plastic bag. Ms.Emily’s head was wrapped in it. I’ll call the murderer X. Why did X do that?” Mr.Brunt looked around us. 
<br>“Remember, there is a wound on her forehead. X covered it with a plastic bag.”
<br>“But why?” I asked. 
<br>“What do you think, Tom?”
<br>“Well...how about this? X didn’t want to see blood.” I replied. 
<br>“No, it is transparent. Also,there is a bloody radio too.” Mr.Brunt said.
<br>“Oh. What do you think, sir?” I asked again.
<br>“X didn’t want blood to stick.” 
<br>“Stick?” I couldn’t understand well.
<br>“I will explain what happened last night.” Mr.Brunt said. And started talking.
<br>“X killed Ms.Emily by the radio. Then Ms.Emily’s blood was scattered a little, and stuck to X’s clothes.”
<br>“Clothes? Why do you think so?” Captain asked.
<br>“You will understand everything when I finish talking.” Mr.Brunt said and continued speaking.
<br>“X was puzzled what X should do. If someone see this blood, He or she will realize that I am a murderer! So X had to remove this blood stains. How about changing my clothes? But if this blood-stained clothes are found by someone, it’s same thing. X came up with a good idea. Changing the clothes with Ms.Emily. “ 
<br>We were very surprised. 
<br>“Clothes that Ms.Emily is wearing now is not hers?!” Johnson said.
<br>“That’s right. There is a blood stain, but it is strange to stick blood on the chest from the forehead.” Mr.Brunt explained with gestures. And Mr.Brunt continued talking.
<br>“I guess Ms.Emily was wearing a T-shirt when she was dead. X had to take it off. But...”
<br>“There is a wound!” I shouted.
<br>“That’s right, Tom. X must not stick blood on T-shirt, so X wrapped the wound in the plastic bag. That plastic bag has no features, so X used it. This is the reason.” Mr.Brunt said proudly. His story took our breath away.
<br>“X knotted the plastic bag tightly and changed the clothes. However, X knotted the plastic bag so tight that X couldn’t untie a knot.” Mr.Brunt took a breath and said aloud,
<br>“Remember, the plastic bag was the murderer’s. So, X wanted to throw it away if X can. There is a very big trash box we call sea. But X didn’t. Why? Because X couldn’t do that. It means X didn’t have any edged tools like scissors.”
<br>We were surprised again. And we felt nervous too.
<br>“If X could cut the bag, X would cut and throw it away. As X didn’t have scissors or something like that, X left it in Ms.Emily’s room.” Mr.Brunt took a deep breath.
<br>“For those reasons, I can find who is X.
<br>X is the person who had one-piece which Ms.Emily’s body is wearing now.
<br>X is the person who didn’t have any edged tools.”
<br>Resolution is going to the end. I felt so.
<br>“For first condition, X is a woman. However, Ms.Emily’s clothes are too small for Ms.Hunt. So, Ms.Hunt is not X.”
<br>Ms.Hunt looked up to the ceiling and sigh deeply.
<br>“For second condition, X has no edged tool. But Ms.Johnson has a surgical knife. So, Ms.Johnson is not X.”
<br>Johnson closed her eyes silently.
<br>Mr.Brunt said,
<br>“So, you are X!”
<br>Mr.Brunt pointed at a person who is a woman and doesn’t have any edged tools.

'''5.Conclusion'''

She ———He Koitawa——— hung her head. And started crying.
<br>“E-Emily stole my fiancé...b-but I said that to her last night, she didn’t remember! So, I-I...”
<br>Koo-ko cried aloud. Other people were silent.
<br>Suddenly, we heard a sound of engine. 
<br>“Rescue is coming soon.” Mr.Brunt murmured.
<br>We went to the deck. We saw a ship coming here. The sun was high and shiny. The tragedy had  ended.
<br>Fin.}}
{{ノベル|題名=麻薬の大きな危険性|著者=[[利用者:キュアラプラプ|学者A]]|説明=麻薬の危険性について、詳細に述べました。|内容={{Sisters:WikiWikiオンラインノベル/麻薬の大きな危険性}}}}
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